101 Easy Ways to Kill Kenny

1. Douse him with kerosene & light him on fire
2. Drop him off of a cliff
3. Impale him on a forklift
4. Blow his head off with a shotgun
5. Run him over with a steam roller
6. Put him in an oil drum full of cement
7. Drop a wrecking ball on him
8. Tear his still beating heart out with a fork
9. Jab a lollipop through his head
10. Shoot an arrow through his heart
11. Drop a lava ball on him
12. Drop a cow onto him
13. Operate a jackhammer on his head
14. Slit his throat with a dull spoon
15. Use him as a javelin target
16. Feed him to the cockroaches
17. put him in the microwave
18. Slip cyanide into his chocolate milk
19. Pull his hood so tight that he suffocates
20. Crazy glue his mouth and nose shut
21. Use the "force" on him
22. Put a syringe full of heroin through his heart
23. Seal him inside a bag of Cheezy Poofs
24. Tie him to a rock and shoot him into space
25. Feed him to your helpful pet alligator
26. Drop him into a meat grinder
27. Throw him into a pool of piranhas
28. Have Cartman sit on him
29. Strangle him with the toaster cord
30. Make him listen to the Emergency Broadcast System
31. Shoot him off of a catapult
32. Turn him into a new pizza topping - Kenneroni
33. Pour nails down his throat
34. Cover him in liquid gold, and let him dry - Kenny Paperweight
35. Beat his head in with a spatula
36. Send him to the Doctor's office - Dr. Kevorkian
37. Have Scuttlebutt weave him into a wicker basket
38. 3 words - Hannibal the Cannibal
39. Bitch slap his head off
40. Put a bead of nails where his mattress should be
41. Bury him in the sand at the beach
42. Cover him in water and leave him outside at night - Kenny Flavored Ice Cubes
43. Feed him sticks of dynamite
44. Use him as shark bait
45. Put him through a jet propeller
46. Knock his head off with a golf club
47. Suffocate him with an empty bag of Snacky Cakes
48. Beat him with a meat tenderizer
49. Stab him through the throat with a pencil
50. Staple his head to the wall
51. Have Kyle jam his dreidle into his head
52. Stab him with a rusty knife
53. Push him into a giant blender and put it on high
54. Lock him in a cage with rabid lions
55. Dip him into a pool of acid
56. Stick his tongue in a socket
57. Send him a mail bomb
58. Put a bomb on his bike so he has to stay above 20mph
59. Drown him in a pool of Lime Jello
60. Tie balloons to him and let him fly up into the sun
61. Beat him with a Blunt Stick
62. Scoop his eyes out with a spork
63. On a class trip to the state prison the boys wander off.. Kenny get tired and sits in the electric chair and Cartman accidentally pulls the lever
64. Shoot a sleeping dart at him while he is at his telescope looking at the stars, and the sun will burn a hole in him with the telescope
65. Accuse him as a witch and hang him
66. Slit his wrists with a piece of glass
67. Run him over with a snow blower
68. Put his head in a vice and crush his scull
69. Put cyanide in his cheezy-poofs
70. Put a razor blade in his snackey cakes
71. Replace his toy gun with a real gun and have him shoot himself
72. Pelt him with large stones
73. Lock him in a room without food and let him die of starvation
74. Run him over with a lawn mower
75. Have Shelly beat the crap out of him
76. Bring him ice fishing, push him into the hole, and seal it back up
77. Stick his fingers in a pencil sharpener
78. Have him walk through a rifle range
79. Have him lean up against a bullseye at an archery camp
80. Replace his parachute with a backpack full of rocks
81. Cut his bungee cord
82. Dress him up as Scuzzlebutt and have him run through Jimbo's Gun Shop
83. Throw him through a plate glass window
84. Put his head into a paper shredder
85. Have his roller coaster get stuck upside down and he will fall out of the car
86. Put him on the Ferris Wheel and watch him go flying into the air
87. Throw him in the dryer on spin cycle
88. Put him into a cylinder of liquid nitrogen
89. Pump dish detergent into his veins
90. Lead him into a giant mousetrap
91. Stick his head into the garbage disposal
92. Make him walk the plank
93. Choke him with an empty pillowcase
94. Drown him in a giant Slurpee
95. Have him abducted by aliens
96. Force him to watch re-runs of Full house
97. Bring him to Death Valley (make sure he keeps on his coat)
99. Bring him to a magic show and *REALLY* saw him in half
100. Put cement shoes on him and throw him into a lake
101. Have him do it with Chef and get AIDS

Back to Humor Page...